Feature: Food Prices Are Going Up…ERMAHGERD!
For once, those of us who live and work in DC can say “we didn’t do it” when it comes to the pending food price increase. Despite Congressional efforts to keep milk prices stable by including certain farm provisions in the Fiscal Cliff deal, they can’t pass a bill to saturate the 60 percent of the country that is technically suffering from the drought.
So what does this mean for your hungover bacon shopping? A lot actually. The United States Department of Agriculture estimates that food prices are expected to increase, on average, 3.5-4 percent. That’s about double the average inflation of 2.8 percent a year. That sucks.
Prepare your wallet, and your Twitter hashtag alert for #Foodmageddon…
What’s going to happen?
Dairy will increase, so make like Ice Cube and “put some water on that sh!t.”
Poultry and eggs will increase too. So make sure you go to Central in downtown DC for some kick-ass fried chicken before it happens.
Pork will be more expensive. So get your oink-on at Hill Country BBQ soon – just don’t spill your gross “Pickleback” shot on me (whiskey with pickle juice – yes it’s that bad).
Steak? Forget about it. That get’s hit the hardest of them all. As if Capital Grille wasn’t expensive enough (but so, so good).
Well, that’s about it, I’m depressed now. Is 2013 over yet? Because this really isn’t very fun. Oh, and your bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich you love so much, that just became about 8 percent more pricey.
I’m pretty sure this is Bush’s fault. Wait…is that not a thing anymore?